What happened in 84 was Genocide by Indian government, you managed to survive I would say you should consider it as your blessing rather than discrimination.

We should always put effort to convice Sikhs and to coming generations that is was not very long ago, it can happen anytime again. If it could happen to Muslims in 2001 in Godhar in Gujarat, why can’t it happen to Sikh now. And If happens now it will much worst than what happened in 84.

If your husband , who is not a Sikh, gives you a bad time about 5K's , I would say, you are responsible for that because before marrying a non Sikh, one should make sure at least he respects Sikhs even though he is not a Sikh himself. It has nothing to do with discrimination.

Regarding stand out , I would say we as an individual have to do extra ordinary in our school, work place , society to stand out , we just shouldn’t think as we are wearing turban we will stand out for good.
We have to do those deeds which will stand us out of crowd and I personally think to stand out first it very important to fit in. Without fit in, it is impossible to stand out. First become a part of system and then do something extra ordinary to stand out. Just don’t think because of turban we will stand out for good.

Honestly what happened with you and other at that time is very tragic and by no means the loss of life can be fulfilled.

You are right, people don't want to hear as this thing of past as they did not lose anything. It only matters to those who have faced it and they feel it even today. It's not just with non-sikhs, it will every human.

I just loved what you said " Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?"
It is genesis of our religion. And having said that if we get discriminated, then so it be.
But fight till your last against this and remember our Gurus and their Bani, for sure that would bring peace.

GurFateh!