Sikhs declare war on Bush
George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom
to invade next when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Bush!" a heavily accented voice said,
"This is Gurmukh from Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .
I am ringing to inform you that we are ophicially declaring the war
on
you!"
"Well, Gurmukh," Bush replied,
"This is indeed important news!
How big is your army"
"Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's
calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sukhdev,
my next door neighbour Harjit, and the whole kabaddi
team from the gurudwara. That makes eight of us"
Bush paused.
"I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men
in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Arrey O, main kya.. ," said Gurmukh.
"I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.
"Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara
STD, the war is still on!
We have managed to get some more inphantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh," Bush asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Harjit's tractor."
Bush sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have
16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers.
Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we
last spoke."
"Oh teri ...." said Gurmukh.
"I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.
"Mr. Bush, the war is still on!
We have managed to get ourselves airborne.... ..
We've modified Harjit's tractor by adding a couple of
shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator.
Four school pass boys from Malpur have also joined us as."
Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat.
"I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers
and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded
by laser-equipped, surface-to-air missile sites.
And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk,
"I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.
"Kiddan, Mr. Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have
had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Bush.
"Why the sudden change of heart, may I ask"?
"Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long chat over
a couple of lassi's, and decided there's no way we can
feed two million prisoners of war!"


